so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
