margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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