ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize