We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
