Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
