hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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