And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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