Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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