I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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