Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
