I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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