I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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