after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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