Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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