I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
