oh god the rape fog is back!
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
