i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
