Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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