Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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