All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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