What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
