Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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