i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
