Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
