Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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