**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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