We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
