Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize