Buhtt sex?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
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Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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