I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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