Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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