I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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