i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
