We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
