All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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