I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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