Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize