i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
