ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
