this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
