I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
