Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
