he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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