well he's currently spooning the coffee table
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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