hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
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I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize