I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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