i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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