like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
