I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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