My friends, they love my intelligence
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
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I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
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She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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