Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
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Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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