He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
