I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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