I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
