My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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