I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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