Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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